In a span of five years, Sanya Malhotra has delivered acclaimed performances featuring in a record-breaking blockbuster, a National Award-winning dramedy and a series of well-received films- all while battling crippling self-doubt as a performer, which she says didn’t let her celebrate her success. Malhotra burst onto the scene as wrestler Babita Kumari in her 2016 debut Dangal. The global success of the Aamir Khan-headlined sports drama was followed by Vishal Bhardwaj’s boisterous Pataakha, where she played one half of the quarrelling sister duo.

The actor then balanced the quirk of Delhi-set Badhaai Ho with the silence of Ritesh Batra’s quaint Photograph.

In an interview with PTI, the 29-year-old actor said all her best-reviewed performances were a result of a maddening pressure to not make a single misstep. “Earlier, I was too harsh on myself as an actor. I would get mad at myself for making mistakes, which was definitely not helping me with anything. I was harsh on myself because maybe I was still trying to learn about so many things, about the industry, the job. Even a small mistake used to tick me off. I was trying to be perfect in everything,” Malhotra said. Malhotra recalled how she would never like her work despite the critical acclaim that came her way. The dislike was so intense, she would cry herself to sleep, she said.

“Whenever a film used to come out, I would not listen to anyone and first give myself a report- ‘I didn’t do this well’, so that if next time I got an opportunity like that, I should work harder. After every release, I would go back home and cry myself to sleep. My family has seen it so much.”               Source: PTI