Getting ghosted might be a newer way of saying it. But someone suddenly “disappearing” in a relationship is nothing new. And, no matter what you want to call it, it can be very painful for the person who was ghosted. Unfortunately, we know how tough these situations can be for people. Whether it’s in our relationship counseling the individual work we do with clients in trauma therapy, we often hear these stories of ghosting and see the pain first hand that people go through when it happens. Being ghosted essentially means someone leaves or stands you up without warning. No phone calls, no text messages, and no explanations.

It’s more common in first dates or early on in relationships, but it does happen sometimes after a relationship has lasted for a significant period of time. Sometimes it’s because the person was looking for another relationship or was having an affair. It’s also very common in our online dating world. This type of dating  However, it’s also common to get ghosted in a long-term, serious relationship. Unfortunately, that often makes the experience even more painful.

Dealing with getting ghosted in a serious relationship is difficult. While you can’t ignore the feelings completely, there are things you can do to make the process of getting through it easier.

Give Yourself Time to Get Over It

Any kind of breakup or separation in a long-term relationship is difficult. Especially when the breakup blindsides you. After all, experiencing the pain of your partner simply “vanishing” is dreadful. One of the biggest mistakes people make is acting as though it doesn’t bother them or trying to move on right away.

While moving on eventually is important, it’s equally important to give yourself time to grieve the relationship. Let your emotions out and find someone who will listen to how you feel. It can help to have a support system in place. Friends, family, or even a therapist can help you deal with the things you might be feeling. There needs to be a mourning period when something like this happens in a relationship. Keep in mind that it won’t last forever. In fact, you can give yourself a “cut off” period. But, before that time, don’t be afraid to really set your emotions free and do what you need to grieve. We also recommend mindfulness work, because this can help people find more contentment in the present. Mindfulness can be described as practicing present awareness of feelings, while also recognizing that they’ll pass. It’s hard to remember that in the moment, but it’s true that no emotion can last forever or at an extremely intense level.

            Source: Vantagepoint